Spousal Report

I can't count anymore the number of people who have observed that life is a quite bit easier as a male clergy spouse than a female clergy spouse. The evidence is purely anecdotal, but so far it seems pretty true. Both Mitch and PH2 give a pretty clear perspective of their experiences. I'm really enjoying what they have to say. I'm enjoying my own experiences with a postulancy spouse, too. Mr. M has been patient and thoughtful, supportive and just protective enough to make me feel like he's got my best interests at heart (but not so protective that I think he might lock anyone in the undercroft closet).

I'm particularly grateful to be reading these husband blogs, because as Mr. M and I go round and round (and round and round) about having kids, I'm realizing how few models of really involved husbands and fathers I know. And folks, I just don't have it in me to be a single parent while I'm married. (I think we've all seen this phenomenon?) I know Mr. M. He is the most nurturing, gentle person I know. He is attentive and kind. He will be an involved dad, there's no question about it. But for me, because I've seen so few examples of this, I'm terrified that children would drain every part of myself, and their father would watch from the sidelines.

Thank you, gentlemen, for your openness. Thank you for providing a sane model of family (even on days when it doesn't work as smoothly as everyone would hope).


  1. Anonymous3:33 PM

    Hmmmm....Locking someone in the undercroft closet....Good idea!

  2. Best advice I can give is to be flexible - you'll have to make up the rules that fit for your family, and revise them often as the kid(s) grow. Having a flexible work environment (church board, head pastor, etc) is priceless.

  3. I've enjoyed reading these two as well. I've even gotten hubbie to read them on occation. I had questions about little ones too, for very similar reasons. I've been very blessed with a hubbie who is way more of a mom than I could ever be! He says I make a pretty good dad so we balance each other out! Blessings!


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins