Hope as the Default Setting

Mr. M and I, like most couples, don't have new arguments. We have fresh reincarnations of the same 2, maybe 3, over and over. Uninventive, I know. Lately one of those arguments has been bothering me more than usual.

Yesterday, though, I somehow stopped thinking of it as, "OMG, what if we NEVER fix this?!?!?! What if this is our undoing?!" and moved on to, "We've probably got a good 50 more years to get this squared away. We're going to be fine."

That doesn't mean the issue is resolved, but it does give me room to have a sense of humor, and of hope (related, I think).

I wonder what life would be like if we assumed it was more likely to improve than fall to bits.

In semi-related news, we found a new band a couple of weeks ago, and this song lets me know that we're not the only ones to go round-and-round.



I've been far too cranky lately to post, though there's good stuff going on. I would LOVE a long retreat right now, but it's not going to happen. I'm actually looking forward to having my wisdom teeth pulled in the middle of May because it'll get me a little quiet time.

In the meantime, you're probably in my prayers, and I appreciate yours as well.

Oh-- and I bought BBT's An Altar in the World, and I'm excited about it and afraid to read it, all at the same time. I've been carrying it around in my purse for the last week, and I've read 2 or three light-and-fluffy books, but haven't cracked this one open. I'm noticing that lately there are things/ideas/books/points of meditation that feel particularly important, and the idea of drawing near to them feels completely overwhelming. I'm not ready to be overcome yet.


A Little Bit of Fantasy

When I was in college, a much-beloved girlfriend and I would sometimes take Tennyson to the park, and read on a picnic blanket. Idylls of the King is great fun to read aloud. To whet your appetite, I give you the beginning of Merlin and Vivien:

A storm was coming, but the winds were still,
And in the wild woods of Broceliande,
Before an oak, so hollow, huge and old,
It looked a tower of ivied masonword,
At Merlin's feet the wily Vivien lay.


National Poetry Month!

I've been thinking a LOT about poetry lately (I blame Charlotte). Ergo, I'm going to go ahead and indulge myself in National Poetry Month (perhaps it'll be a good way to get back in the habit of blogging, too).

I quote this (usually not out loud, actually) often:

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant
Emily Dickinson

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---
Success in Cirrcuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind---

Back to Bullets

There are a bizillion things I've been wanting to blog about, but I haven't had time (or admittedly, energy) to do justice to any of them. So, we have bullets:

  • It came to me about a week ago that when I noticed spring, I'd take it as a direct, personal, love gift from God. It's been amazing since then. Unbloggability is still there, but right in the midst of it, happiness and love can still live. Amazing.
  • I've been thinking a lot about seeing God in beauty (and noticing beauty), and that has me thinking about liturgy and liturgical spaces (because, really, everything makes me think of liturgy). More to come on that, I'm sure.
  • Some doors might be opening. I'm trying to discern whether they're just welcoming places, or whether this is an indication that they're the right places for me. (Though frankly, because hospitality is so central to my idea of ministry, perhaps that answers itself.)
  • Some other doors might or might not be opening for Mr. M. This would be a very big change, but would make things so much easier for us that it feels like a pipe dream. I'll keep you updated.
  • This weekend is finally the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler, but I'm not sure the muscle I pulled is totally back up yet! Augh! I took 2 weeks off, ran gentle yesterday (and cut it short). I'm hoping a massage on Friday will help?

Ok, duckies. I'm nuts about you, but that's all I can do at this moment. xoxo.