Prayers

One of my best friends in high school was a wonderful girl from Honduras. Her parents have worked all over the world, and at present they're in the U.S., but they're about to go back to Honduras, and I'm so worried about the whole family. They really are extraordinary people, and the sweetest family on top of it. I'm just sick about what's going on in their country. Please keep them in your prayers.

Friday Five Closet Cleaning Edition

Good grief, it's been so long since I've played the Friday Five that I can hear the hinges on my Blogger account creaking.

The lovely Sally has given us a fun play this week:

1. Are you a hoarder, or are you good at sorting and clearing?
I am a merciless sorter and clearer. Or I thought I was, but I realized this morning that I have underpants that I bought 15 years ago.

2. What is the oddest garment you possess and why?
There are two, and they're both wonderful. One is a men's grey cardigan from... well, roughly the mid-seventies. It was my uncle's, but then it got handed down to my mom. There's a picture of her wearing it the week after I was born, and I love to wear it around the house.

The other garment came from a wonderful woman named Karen, who was my mom's best friend in the second grade. Karen moved with her family from Tennessee to Nebraska, and she and my mom lost touch for several years. They reconnected when I was in college, and Karen mailed me a lovely, full, calf-length black velvet skirt that had been her mother's when she heard I was swing dancing.

3. Do you have a favourite look/ colour?
I love wearing dresses and skirts with sweaters. Knee length, full skirts are my favorite.

4. Thrift/ Charity shops, love them or hate them?
I'm fussy about them. There's a wonderful consignment shop near me, and a good one is a gem, but there are some really crappy ones out there, and I don't always have the patience to comb through them.

5. Money is no object, what one item would you buy?
A beautifully cut, long, wool winter coat.

Chapter 452 Playtime

• I start a beginners quilting class tonight! Very exciting. We're making table runners, which is NOT exciting, but hopefully I'll learn why my little squares never turn out quite...square.
• Because there's not enough time to go home, but I'll have just a little too much time before the class, it's definitely going to be an Ice Cream for Dinner night.
• I picked up Phyllis Tickle's The Divine Hours (for Summertime) recently, and I cannot tell you how much I'm enjoying it. Somehow all of the readings lately have been exactly what I needed, have absolutely swaddled me in the huge love of God.
• I won a case of Corona! Well, it was my incentive for a donation, so really it's the most expensive beer I've ever bought, but still, I'm going to be happy when Mr. M picks up some limes.
• I am loving Pandora more than I can possibly tell you. I'm particularly pleased with the Conway Twitty station, the Bob Dylan one, the Dusty Springfield, and the Classical (choral Baroque). Go play with it! Mr. M listened to a They Might Be Giants station, and discovered that Cake covered this Muppet classic:

Chapter 450Losing Souls

In my young evangelical days, I heard Mark 8:36 a lot: What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" It was usually understood as the undoing of a one-time salvation. Descent into the fiery pits, eternal separation from God, afterworld-y stuff.

The verse came to mind recently, though, as I was chatting with one of my favorite girlfriends. We were talking about people who make us angry (so angry we can feel it in our bodies), and we agreed that there's a point where we just have to let it go-- for the sake of our own souls. Please don't get me wrong-- I respect anger as a helpful roadmarker, one that lets me know something is deeply Not As It Should Be. But to stew in it, and let it mingle with resentment and hate... that's an entirely different beast. I'm coming to believe that our soul isn't something we lose once, irrevocably, but rather our truest self, which we lose track of many times, in many ways-- through fear, worry, hostility, hate, condescension.

I also believe it's something we can receive back. Last month, at the closing ceremonies of Spiritual Director's training, each of us spoke briefly about what the program had been to us. I shared that when I began, I felt as though I had lost my voice. Two years later, buoyed by the love of a wonderful community, it was coming back. A very dear friend (the kind who's family, even though he's not related) told me later that I hadn't lost my voice at all-- I just couldn't hear it for myself for a little while. Maybe that's the best possible definition of spiritual direction-- having someone to hear your voice. And I believe that through it, God saves our souls, and restores love, kindness, freedom, trust, and joy.

Chapter 449 The Mustn'ts

I've mentioned Shel Silverstein a couple of times before-- I'm nuts about him. I can't believe I haven't ever posted about the Mustn'ts, though, because it's one of those poems that pops up in my head on a fairly regular basis-- and I'm always glad when it does.

As there is in everyone's life, I have a bit of ongoing unblogability, and this morning I was thinking to myself, "I wish that someone could tell me whether or not this can improve-- whether something can HAPPEN." And then I thought of Shel, and realized that no one can really tell me either way. We just have to wait, and maybe expect.

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.

Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.

Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.
-Shel Silverstein

Chapter 447 Who do You say that I am?

I've been really struggling with one relationship. I cannot do anything right with this person, and it's been... well, about as awful as you'd expect. Last night, I prayed about it and heard, "I don't see you the way she sees you."

Well, holy crap. Life feels a lot better when I remember that God sees me.

Chapter 446 Mid-May Odds and Ends

• I finished my Spiritual Director's program! (Not done learning, just done with the program.)
• My wisdom teeth are coming out on Thursday (yikes!). This appointment has been scheduled and rescheduled since January, so I'm just glad to be getting it over with at this point.
• Mr. M and I have our fingers crossed for a yet-unbloggable possibility-- I'll let you know if it comes through!
• We worshipped with a Lutheran church on Sunday, and I really enjoyed it. A staff member said to me at the last class retreat that the ELCA might be a good fit. ("It's a lot like the Episcopal church, but softer," was actually how she put it.) At this point, I'm not sure which is scarier-- visiting new churches, or the idea of finding one that feels right.

Other than that, I'm one swamped little Admin Asst., and that's about it.

Chapter 445 Friend Dating

The older I get, the further away from college, and the longer I've been married, the more I realize that other relationships (social and professional) are an awful lot like dating.

I remember one test very clearly from my dating days: how someone treated waiters/tresses, grocery store clerks, etc, was very important to me. Of course a guy will try to impress his date, but is he as courteous to everyone else-- especially those people in service positions who are often ignored? How does he treat friends and family? Does he still show respect to people he doesn't enjoy?

I only put this together a week or so ago, and as you might imagine, it wasn't a fun lesson to learn. With friends, this awareness isn't necessarily the weeding-out process it is with dates, but it is a helpful perspective. If someone has a short fuse with others, she'll probably lose her temper with you at some point. If an acquaintance gossips, it's best to assume you'll eventually be the topic. We keep loving each other, but forewarned is forearmed, and assuming that we'll be different from all the others almost always ends in heartbreak.

And along the same lines... it's not a bad idea to evaluate ourselves the same way. Even when we're not called out on it, our friends put up with a lot.