Change

Last month, when I went to see my Spiritual Director, I finally stopped beating around the bush and told her that someone is driving me nuts.

And she asked me, "Where do you see God in that relationship?"

Of course she asked me that. It's what she does. Bless her, it's the obvious questions that knock our socks off, and it's through learning to make those questions a fixture of our lives that we finally become wise.

I had no answer.

I went home, antsy and figgity, annoyed and worn out, and looked for some ideas.

And then I broke out my (Roman Catholic) grandmother's rosary. I've been a fan of the Anglican Rosary for a long time, and this RC rosary of my grandmother's is special to me, too. I found myself praying for groups of people in the weeks (e.g., family in the first set of ten, coworkers in the second, parishioners on the third, revgals in the last), praying the Lord's Prayer at the cruciforms. It felt so good to spend that time holding people between myself and God, but I was particularly struck by the Lord's Prayer in the middle-- following these groups of prayers by addressing God as OUR FATHER, masculine language aside, was striking and healing. I began praying for individuals in those week beads as "_________, your beloved child, my brother/sister." At the end, I felt more open to God's love, and more open to sharing the same.