11.26.2007

Change

Last month, when I went to see my Spiritual Director, I finally stopped beating around the bush and told her that someone is driving me nuts.

And she asked me, "Where do you see God in that relationship?"

Of course she asked me that. It's what she does. Bless her, it's the obvious questions that knock our socks off, and it's through learning to make those questions a fixture of our lives that we finally become wise.

I had no answer.

I went home, antsy and figgity, annoyed and worn out, and looked for some ideas.

And then I broke out my (Roman Catholic) grandmother's rosary. I've been a fan of the Anglican Rosary for a long time, and this RC rosary of my grandmother's is special to me, too. I found myself praying for groups of people in the weeks (e.g., family in the first set of ten, coworkers in the second, parishioners on the third, revgals in the last), praying the Lord's Prayer at the cruciforms. It felt so good to spend that time holding people between myself and God, but I was particularly struck by the Lord's Prayer in the middle-- following these groups of prayers by addressing God as OUR FATHER, masculine language aside, was striking and healing. I began praying for individuals in those week beads as "_________, your beloved child, my brother/sister." At the end, I felt more open to God's love, and more open to sharing the same.

4 comments:

  1. That's very nice. I will have to try that.

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  2. Spiritual directors....gotta love'em! Asking those questions that just throw things up the air...and create new spaces where lovely things can happen. This is beautiful. (((Mrs. M)))) And thanks for the prayers!

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  3. what a great question.

    and it reminds me, I gave a friend a copy of Gary Willis book The Rosary. I don't know much about this discipline, but would like to find out.

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  4. My answer to her question might have been - I haven't killed him yet!?!

    I love your prayers. I use prayer beads as well - especially when I can't seem to quite my mind. I use a mantra from Julian of Norwich - "You are enough for me, for anything else leaves me wanting." I really like the way you prayed for others using the beads. I need to do more of that. Thanks!

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"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins