Identity Theft

Miriam-Webster defines prejudice in the following ways:

1: injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights ; especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims2 a (1): preconceived judgment or opinion (2): an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge b: an instance of such judgment or opinion c: an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics

My mom has joked that my groups of friends always look like a mini-United Nations. Growing up in the military, all over the world, that was very normal. Of course I'd talk to anyone: anyone was the only person there to talk to! We were all, constantly, the new person or the outsider. We lived abroad, we lived in DC, we lived in Southern California: all places where diversity was the norm. I've sat on the wall at Arlington cemetary, talking to a stranger for a couple of hours. I've prayed with a a woman in the foyer of a Catholic church whom I'd never seen before, and haven't seen since. I have truly enjoyed talking to anyone. And I'm mad as a little wet hen when people are unwilling to try to know other people.

I've been remarkably lucky, in that I haven't experienced much prejudice personally through the years-- or if I did, it was flagrant, and so I didn't take the judgements personally. Lately, though, I'm experiencing a situation where someone thinks one thing about me, and I know in my bones it isn't true. I also know that I've spent almost no time at all with this person, and I've been completely baffled by how he reached his conclusions.

Judging someone without knowing them is prejudicial. Period.

I feel like I've just been smacked on the side of the head. I'm stunned. I've been struggling and struggling, trying to understand this man's misconceptions, frustrated because he didn't know me but had odd expectations of me.

And now I'm even more confused. Because you have to know that I would hate to give something up because of Prejudice. Ignorance. But at the same time, when you're a sole voice, what can you do?


  1. i just caught up on your last six posts. and i'm not exactly sure what is going on for you, but it sounds super challenging, potentially immensely painful. being misunderstood, or misjudged is REALLY hard for me. ((((diana))))

    hope there are some leaves to play in soon and that you have a beautiful wedding anniversary. ours was just on sunday!

  2. While I'm tempted to say 'kick him in the jimmy' that's probably not _actually_ the best choice.

    What is? I really don't know. :/


  3. Ugh. I have an idea what this is about and if I am right, I am real sorry.

    I am real sorry anyway. It sounds sucky.

    HUGS to you.


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins