1.09.2007

Tossing and Turning

I've been having a recurring dream for the last five years. In it, I didn't actually graduate from college. There are several variations, but the most common one is that I scheduled a class and never knew about it, so I'm missing that credit on graduation day.

I have to finish my postulancy app this month, as well as my seminary ones. As I'm sure you'd guess, the dream is more present than ever.

Adding to the stress is that there is some real anxiety about whether my alma mater will release my transcripts-- money was messy for the first couple of years after I graduated, and this is a concern.

I'm realizing that literally 95% of my anxiety about these applications is coming from those damn transcripts. I'm not worried about the essays. I'm truly not worried about the GRE. I'm not worried about whether I'd be a good fit in this vocation. I am worried about those stupid transcripts.

I realize that the best way to stop being afraid of something is to face it directly.

Wow, does that realization not make anything easier.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:13 PM

    Wow! I have had that exact same dream many times! Since I've been a pastor, I sometimes dream that I've forgtten to write my sermon. But I still have the school dram every now and again.

    Peace and blessings to you as you follow Christ's call on your life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have that anxiety dream every so often.

    I hope the transcript stuff gets worked out so you can get other stuff done.

    ReplyDelete

"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins