In Which Steam Billows Out of Mrs. M's ears...

There's an article on the front page of our (small, local) evening paper about pornography being an issue that churches are now feeling a need to address.

That's not where the steam starts, I can agree with that.

The steam comes in with the following:
"I'm real with the guys," [Dan Seaborne] said. "I tell them what they're seeing is fake. Those women are getting paid. Then I tell them, 'If you gave your wife a million dollars, you have no idea what she might do, '" he said with a laugh.

Oh, my God.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's furious. How is this pastor comfortable with a statement that treats people's loved ones like prostitutes-- "give them money, you'll get what you want"? (Please understand, I don't think we should treat anyone like that, not even those who are engaged in the profession.) For that matter, why does the whole damn article (which I can't link to, because it's not online) talk exclusively about the poor men who are struggling with this, with maybe a passing reference to their wives, but not address the fact that this completely dehumanizes women? Call me naive, closedminded, ignorant, puritanical, but I have a very hard time believing that women who are deeply loved and respected wind up in this profession. As a person of faith, I have no interest in pinning a big red "A" on someone, and neglecting her needs.

I'm sure there are many of you who disagree with me. I know that there are strong feelings on all sides of this issue. My biggest concern is the utter lack of respect for the person-hood of the women in these films and photos, and I hope that's something we can all come together on.

Steam just pouring out...


  1. I completely agree with you. Does this guy really think that the biggest problem with the porn industry is that the women in the pictures/videos are unattainable? Is he saying, "You shouldn't watch porn because your wife has NO CHANCE of ever looking that hot."

    What an asshat!

  2. i agree with you. no woman with a sense of self esteem and self respect would participate in that media. It is, by virtue of what it is, negative toward women. It just is. This is not even about morality, it is oh so much about self respect AND MEN seeing women as more than OBJECTS for self satisfaction. (Oh, don't get me started...deep breath). And that guy, Dan, really doesn't get it at all. sigh. we need to encourage our sisters to think better of themselves (ourselves). And to recongnize smuck for what it is.

  3. Anonymous11:41 AM

    For me, the issue is, and always has been, authenticity. I seek authenticity in my human relationships, and what you see in those pictures is so far removed from reality as to be laughable. It's not sexy. Porn is stylized, idealized, fantasy depictions of who and what women should be and do, and there's nothing real or genuine about it. It's imprisonment, not freedom. It's not getting in touch with new possibilities for our bodies, it's disconnecting from the God-given purpose for our sexuality...LOVE.

    That pastor should be saying that these women are getting paid to play a role, a role that has no basis in what healthy, holy human sexuality is all about...that they likely do it because they are caught up in a web of sick and unhealthy choices. Instead, he chose to help perpetuate the cycle with his comment.

  4. preach it, sisters! Mrs M - you are NOT alone in this blogoshpere, particularly in the RevGals ring! :) Just remember that we are always working to bring about the kin-dom, one person, one hour at a time.

  5. yuck

    someone should call him OUT for that statement.


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins