Whole

I just read this post by Jill about women, and my heart swelled because it felt so good.

And I'm reading a book (that I'll tell you all about once I'm into it a bit further) whose author tries to reconcile her spirituality and her feminism, tries to help them live together peaceably.

And thinking about both of these things, I thought about a priest I know who would dismiss it all as claptrap, as not "serious" or "important" work. I think he'd be dismissive of these ideas, wouldn't appreciate these women's ideas.

I thought about this, and got disgruntled, but when I pushed further, I realized I wanted the same sorts of healing and affirmation for him, too. No question about it, women have really gotten the fuzzy end of the lollipop in a lot of spiritual/religious settings. But so have men. Anytime we try to shove someone into a mold, we have to break their whole self to do it. Does he want to be authoritarian, or is it the only way he knows how to lead? Seems lonely and exhausting to me.

I think about Mr. M, and about my dear friend Michael, and about so many other men who care "shoulds." I think those "shoulds" can get just as heavy as all the "should'ts" we women have to carry.

What grace we would show if we let everyone be wholy themselves.