Or, the lack thereof.

I'm going a bit nutty, and those around me are right in the thick of it.

Several years after my friend Mrs. P, I am on a "Boundaries" kick. Not so much the book by Townsend and McCloud, just the basic concept of taking better care of myself and backing off my attempts to take care of other people. This, in itself, is a very sane concept.

But I've having a really hard time figuring out how to establish those boundaries in old relationships. If I've said no to you six times, I'm not being mean, but I really do mean "no." If I don't feel comfortable discussing something with you, I'm not excluding you, I'm just respecting my own privacy-- or that of others.

This is an excellent time to learn how to set boundaries well, kindly, and respectfully-- early in discernment. It really is trickier than it looks,though. I've begun to notice how much subtext there is in discussions I thought were relatively straightforward: people hinting around what they want, getting angry when I come straight out and say no.


  1. Some people just don't get it even when you are straight with them.

    Welcome to the revgalblogpals. i won't make funny by saying rah rah, how about I have 2 girls who would love to be a cheerleader. Look forward to your posts, and interaction.

  2. Welcome to the RGBPs! Glad to have you with us.


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins