I littered this morning. It's pretty out of character for me, I don't know if I've ever done it before. I just threw a plastic bottle out of my car and drove off. I think it was justified in this case, though. You see, it was that, or cause a major accident on the highway.

About 15 minutes into my 30 minute commute, I started to adjust my AC vents. Fortunately, I glanced over before I grabbed them BECAUSE THERE WAS A HUGE GRASSHOPPER ON THEM. Worse yet, he was facing my direction, and could jump any minute. I grabbed a piece of paper out of my bag (see Mr. M-- there IS a good reason to keep my purse well-stocked with everything!), and nudged The Creature away from me. He landed on my bag, in the middle of the passenger seat.

For the next five minutes (the time it took to get to the nearest off-ramp), I was continually alerted by those ridges on the side of the road that perhaps my driving wasn't at its peak. I was also continually rotating my bag, as The Creature really wanted to face me, and I really didn't want It to.

I pulled over into the nearest industrial park, and opened both doors of my car. I tried to grab my bag and just fling The Little Sucker out, but no. He jumped into my backseat.

My car is not tidy. There is an ungodly amount of junk on the floor of my backseat. The Creature's latest move sent me into a panic-- there was no way I was driving the rest of the way to work with That Thing in my car.

Fortunately, I spotted him more easily than I expected. Unfortunately, he wasn't very easy to get to. I nudged him again with a leaflet, and then poked at him with a hat.

Finally, he jumped onto my water bottle! Throwing caution to the wind, I hurled it out of my car, slammed the doors, and sped off.

The moral of the story? Tonight, Mr. M is going to help me clean out my car, and then I'm never rolling down the windows again.


  1. Anonymous1:51 PM

    Every now and then you remind me that you really were a cheerleader ;-) --GL

  2. Anonymous11:14 PM

    thank God you didn't get hurt over a grasshopper. what if it were a bee?? my gracious!! loves, Thing 2

  3. Anonymous11:15 PM

    P.S. There ain't nothin' wrong with a cheerleader. loves, Thing 2


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins