If you've read any past posts, you'd find a pretty strong theme of worry and frustration. And you wouldn't find any references to prayer.

I'm not doing it. I'm not sure how anymore, I'm having a hard time focusing, and I'm very worried (shocking, I know) that I don't know who I'm praying to; that I have the wrong idea of God, and so it won't work.

My darling spiritual advisor would say that we come to know God through prayer. I agree with her, but I'm often paralyzed by things at which I'm not sure I'll be successful.

I miss God, though. I have a very clear memory of God's presense during one prayer by a swampy little campus pond. I remember a time of enormous turmoil, and God's presense absolutely filling my dorm room (different semester). I miss feeling known, and protected. I read recently that God makes God's self known through our worshipping. It might sound obvious, but it was a surprising statement-- that God might give while we're giving. (Although I certainly think God gives even when we couldn't be further from doing so.)

It's past time to call God again. And it's past time to risk failing in a lot of things. Perhaps the best place to start is with the Creator who knows my limitations, but also knows more about my possibilities.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous10:58 PM

    This is a really beautiful post. Luv, Thing 2


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins