2.17.2009

Gooseberry

Tomorrow night, two really wonderful women are being ordained to the priesthood in my (?)diocese (in my convocation, even). I really admire both of them and their ministries, so I'm going to the service. I'm even excited about the event.

But there's a part of me that feels a bit like I'm going to an ex-boyfriend's wedding (to follow the relationship analogy that's been with me through this process). I know that I broke up with him, and I know that I certainly don't want to be standing up at the altar with him... but I also know that I want to be standing up there with someone, the right one. And some people there will speculate about what happened, and others will be surprised I'm there.

I'm sure it'll be fine, but if you could hold me in your prayers tomorrow night, I'd sure appreciate it.

Update: Thank you so much for your prayers. I felt absolutely embraced during the service-- it was really neat. And I was very happily surprised to find that it was easy to celebrate. The ordinands were radiant, and I lost track of how many times I was relieved not to be up there with them. AND, just so that I really, really knew I was taken care of-- God sent the head of my Spiritual Direction program, a Church of the Brethren pastor, to be one of the ordinand's presenters.

9 comments:

  1. I WILL be holding you in my prayers.

    Praying for discernment, too.

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  2. You've got it. Love.

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  3. hey ... i'm sorry if i posted a comment about a million times. i couldn't figure out if it was working from my wordpress account!

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  4. oh ok...so NOW it's working!

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  5. this sounds painful. please be gentle with yourself.
    i will hold you in Love. may you feel the embrace.

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  6. Mrs M, I'm horribly behind on your blog. I've been away from blogging for months and I want to catch up. Where are you in all this? From this entry it sounds like you made a decision...can you direct me to a post or just give me a quick update? And if quick update isn't possible, just let me say I'm glad to be back and I'm glad this experience was a good one.

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  7. You know what? Please disregard my previous request. I'll just catch up by actually READING your blog. Imagine that! That way you don't have to sum things up. thanks, Mrs M. And have you read Lillian Daniels' article "Call Waiting"? She discovered she was indeed called to ordination, but in a different denomination. As I struggle with this thought myself, I found this article very inspiring. You might be able to find it online.

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"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins