I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. More accurately, I've been feeling like it might have been better if I hadn't gotten out of bed this morning. I've been crotchety and short-tempered, convinced that most of the people around me have no sense whatsoever.
Don't tell me you haven't had days like this.
But, I don't particular enjoy being a little thundercloud. A few minutes ago, I had a radical thought (clearly God's, because this never would have occurred to me on my own): Ask for prayer.
Now, I ask for prayer if I'm hurt, or scared. I pray for myself and others over joyous events. But I just about never say, "Hey, God, I'm being a big schmuck. Could you please help me with this?"
And now I'm relieved, because it feels like such a gentle way to move forward. Not embarrassed or ashamed of my bad mood, just accepting that it's there, and I'd rather it wasn't. Inviting God in, in whatsoever state I am. (Perhaps this is a new read on Paul's having learned, in whatsoever state he was in, to be content. I've always taken that to mean whatever outside factors there were, but perhaps it's also whatever emotional state we're in.)
What a relief.
7.02.2007
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"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins
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This is great, for two reasons:
ReplyDelete1) It's always good to be reminded that it's okay to ask for the small things.
2) The phrase 'Hey God, I'm being a big schmuck' got me laughing again.