Friday Five a Day Late

Here we go, Ladies and Gents, this week's Friday Five :

1. Tell us about any group(s) you currently belong to. (e.g. book club, knitting circle, walking buddies, etc.)

I'm sad to tell you, I have no group. BUT, I've recently heard that a young female priest (who will be ordained in 4 hours!) is talking about starting a women's group. You know, one that's NOT scheduled during working hours (amazing concept).

2. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend?
I almost always feel better after I've done it, but am usually anxious anticipating it. Actually, I should clarify. I am very uncomfortable trying to mingle with strangers-- esp if they know each other. But if there's a program/purpose, I have a great time.

3. Is there a role you naturally find yourself playing in group situations? That is, do you naturally fall into the leader role, or the one who always makes sure the new person feels welcome, or the quiet one who sits back and lets others shine, or the host?
I tend to try to get everyone involved. I'm like the little sheepdog wrangling stragglers.

4. Handshakes vs. hugs: discuss.
Handshakes. Hugs, but ask first. I'm a big believer in being respectful of people's boundaries.

5. Ice breakers: a playful way to build community in a lighthearted manner, or a complete and utter hell of forced fun and awkwardness?
Fantastic if there are people who don't know one another in the group. Also a nice way to make cliques mingle.

Dirty Words

I have been doing a lot of thinking about gender language-- and maybe gender in general-- the last few weeks. It's a topic that's danced around my consciousness since high school, always waved away in favor of a problem I could quickly solve with brain or brawn (rather than heart). How we're expected to behave as men and women has been a topic of discussion since Mr. M and I had problems in January, and throughout this time of recovery together.

And then a couple of weeks ago I began to read Sue Monk Kidd's Dance of the Dissident Daughter. I felt more jarred than I have in car accidents. Kidd observes the obvious-- that the women of the Bible are certainly not primary characters, and that there are an awful lot of hymns that don't include women in any way. This was the first time I've let it soak in, let it be as painful as it really is.

I cringed through Mass on Sunday. My eyes welled up with relief and gratitude during a healing service on Wednesday when a kind and gentle friend altered the language of the Eucharist (as is his habit) to be inclusive.

Kidd had to leave Christianity to find the Feminine Divine. I hope I don't come to feel that's the only option I can live with-- but I can understand it. I can understand feeling betrayed and neglected by being institutionally ignored.

So, I'm trying like mad to remember the progressive book of liturgy that my good buddy Aaron uses as his source, and I'm scouting out other inclusive, healing, justice-oriented liturgy. Not just for women, but for all those people are meant to be raised up by the broad love of Jesus.

Spreading the Gospel of Panties and Shoes

I started temping at a mortgage company this week. The receptionist there is a doll- reminds me of my friend L's words, "the big black bosom of Mama God." Anyway, she and I shared with another woman the miracle of a ZAPPOS, and the excellence which is Hanes Perfect Panty BoyShort.

For those of you who don't know, ZAPPOS is an online shoe store where you can search by style, heel height, brand, color. They're fantastic. AND both shipping and return shipping are free. Yes, I have a shoe problem. Ankle straps and T-Straps and slingbacks and boots. I'm trying to keep it under control, but everyone goes a bit nutty about something...

And the Hanes panty is just awesome. Lightweight, comfy, DOES NOT EVER RIDE UP YOUR BUM. And most important, no VPL.

Friday Five

Here's this week's Friday Five from the RevGalBlogPals:

Name five things you have enjoyed this week.

1. Mr. M, who prays with me when I'm worried, and at the end of the day.
2. The tiny lambs at the farm near our house-- they're darling.
3. My last week working internally at the staffing agency.
4. Brother's Pizza 3 times this week-- augh! Forgot to grocery shop.
5. Peanut M&Ms from a co-worker.

Let go. Then, let go some more.

I read that line yesterday, and really enjoyed it.

I also read a prayer tailored for ENFJs (on the Myers-Briggs): God help me to do only what I can and trust you for the rest. Do you mind putting that in writing?

Anyone get my point?

There's a lot of uncertainty right now, and the overwhelming necessity of LETTING GO is finally hitting how, not a moment too soon. My "summer job" ends this Friday, but I've got a long-term temporary position lined up after that. My internship was supposed to re-start in September... wait... it IS September, and I'm waiting to hear whether I've got the go-ahead from my bishop... who's retiring next month. Scary. Postulancy is feeling dicey because I took a (very wise, in my opinion) time-out. I'm not sure why I'm feeling that way, but it felt likely before, and now...? Things with Mr. M are really coming together, but good grief it's been a rough year for us.

So, I'm trying to let go. And it feels really good when I do. My faith comforts me as much as I let it-- when I let go of worry and illusions of control.