One Purpose of Prayer

For years and years I journaled my prayers. Almost always at the end of the day before bed, and often outside, during quiet reflective times.

Then I stopped. A spiritual director I had told me that wasn't a very good way to pray. I didn't have the confidence or clarity to dispute that. Around the same time, a priest I know shared some of his theology on prayers of petition: that he believed in a loving God, and since he couldn't reconcile the pain in the world with an omnipotent, loving God, then his loving God must be powerless to intercede. I followed his logic, and didn't dispute that, either.

And then I noticed how dry I was becoming. I noticed that I didn't have much hope, and that I'd stopped expecting miracles. I felt more reasonable, but I didn't necessarily feel wiser. I felt defeated.

There is such joy in expecting to be surprised. As I return to prayers of petition, I'm learning that one of the best purposes of prayer is the noticing; when I am attentive to the petition, I notice the response. My gratitude increases. My joy increases. The comfort of my loving God becomes incredible. And when the impossible becomes possible in my life, it also becomes possible in my relationships, and I can pass on some of that generousity.

God has been doing beautiful things in my life. Thanks be to God for the times I see it!