Friend Crushes

This last year has been an awfully good one for me. I feel like every time I turn around, I'm finding a little piece of myself that I thought I'd misplaced forever. A little joy turns up in a sock drawer, and wedge of hope is stuck under the front porch. "Darn- so that's where it's been!"

This week, I opened a closet and a big old pile of Friend Crush fell on my head. I must have just thrown it in there and slammed the door.

I used to be really nuts about my friends. Loved them dearly, celebrated them, felt genuinely honored to share their company. But way leads onto way and after a rough few years trust in my fellow person was pretty well shot.

I noticed that it was back last week. I ran into someone I'd only met once or twice, and I gathered my ovaries and invited him to join us for dinner.

I was terrified.

And so, so excited. It is so like me to do this. And I haven't done it in ages. I haven't taken risks to get to know people I think are really neat. I haven't just relaxed and enjoyed people. I haven't felt safe enough to share, to joke, to be anything but reserved.

HALLELUJAH!

(And did I mention that I'm hanging out with the funny, beautiful, smart women that I work with on Saturday night? And that I'm thinking we could really be friends? I haven't been in the same town as great girlfriends since... well, let's not think in terms of time. I'm so excited.)