The Still Small Voice Must Be Crazy

I had a thought this morning that clearly was not my own, as I was extremely uncomfortable with it.

First you should probably understand that I'm a bit superstitious about this whole ordination thing. I'm not quite at the point where I make Mr. M go outside, turn around three times, and spit when he says "when" I'm ordained (rather than "if"), but I'm very, very close to that point.

I was interacting with a new group of people, and it looks like the dynamics are a little strained. I asked myself (as I do occasionally) how I would present myself in this environment if I were a priest? The still, small answer that came back wasn't from me: "You are."

I beg your pardon? Clearly you haven't been paying attention. Several other people have to weigh in on this. I still have seminary apps to fill out-- never mind classes to attend, internships to do, and CPE to complete. What do you mean, I already am? PEOPLE HAVE TO APPROVE FIRST!

And the explanation that came back was something like this:

I made you. I'm the one that makes your priesthood, or doesn't. Other people can recognize it, but I created it, Sweetie Pie. You're mine, and they're my plans for you.

Well, okay then. That's a new way of looking at things.


  1. I am so glad that you wrote about this. The whole pastoral identity thing was/is the hardest part for me. I'm sure that many people already see you as a priest. Keep listening to that small voice!

  2. Thank you so much for visiting!

    I'm glad you wrote this, too, and I hope I'm about to uncover more posts on this topic.

  3. When I was in CPE, I was ministering to a family during the night when their (adult) son died. I had to explain that there wasn't a Catholic priest available and that their son, A, had received all the sacraments of the Roman Catholic Church.

    After he passed, other family members returned and, having already met and interacted with me, completely ignored me and demanded to know where the priest was. A's mother turned and said fiercely, "This IS the priest."

    Listen to the voice of Mr. M too! And to the words of those who've seen you and worked with you.

    P.S. -- What do you want to know about the Chaplaincy stuff? Do you use AIM?

  4. Okay, I'm totally commenting months late, but I just had to. I'm sitting here reading this, thinking 'doesn't that sound neat if unnerving', when I realized that duh, I know what it feels like. I've been struggling with this vocation which seems to have crept up on me, and I keep repeating 'Domine, non sum dignus' -- and every once in a while I get te response 'Neither is anyone else; your point?'

    So, yeah. This resonates with me.


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins