8.14.2006

Juggling Calls

I want to be a mom. I've wanted to be a mom longer than I've wanted to be a priest. Now is not the time-- but neither are the next ten years, my mentors tell me.

As the wise Mr. M says, "The one thing that I have learned about life in the past few months is that there are always choices and alternatives and that they can be explored."

I'm trying the one-step-at-a-time approach to discernment, which is working-- I don't feel ready for seminary yet, but I do feel ready to intern. So, since it's time to intern, I'm OK.

But you can't do pregnancy by degrees, it's pretty much a binary state.

Here's the thing: I don't mind doing family and school in a non-traditional way (seriously, I'm a woman of childbearing age seeking the priesthood: there AREN'T any traditions in place for this!). What's hard for me is that I'm experiencing a lot of pressure to follow a precise map, and I'm having a hard time dealing with that.

Admission: I've also been working on my out-of-control desire to keep everyone happy, and this may well be an area where the rubber meets the road.

Pray for wisdom and courage for me. And serenity.

Thanks, friends.

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:57 AM

    hey, you know, you could just leave it up to the Lord so to speak. don't do anything to help, or hinder it, and let it happen when it happens. no one can argue with an already pregnant woman seeking discernment as much as they can one who is considering being pregnant. love, lola

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  2. Anonymous4:05 PM

    Would it help if you ask yourself: 20 years from now, will it make a difference to you how long it took to become a priest? And now ask yourself: 20 years from now, will it make a difference to you at what age you started a family?

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  3. Wecome to RevGalBlogPals,

    I'm praying for your discernment. This is one of the hardest decisions we have to make, but perhaps it doesn't have to be a choice between the two. Can seminary and ordination process be done slowly? I am completing my last year of seminary. My son was 10 when I started, so I didn't have to deal with infant concerns. However, parenting an infant and seminary is doable- I have friends who are doing it. I'll keep you in my prayers.

    P.S. My husband says he doesn't mind being a preacher's wife as long as he doesn't have to have tea and crumpets with the rest of them.

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  4. Welcome to RevGals

    Seminary and pregnancy can be done hand in hand. I chose to be pregnant and study at the same time.
    I fell pregnant at the end of 1st year and gave birth to my eldest half way through 2nd semester of 2nd year.

    I was the first in the college to be studying fulltime and be pregnant and then continue with my studies with a baby.
    I became the person people approached about having a baby while studying. A very strange role to be given, you end up with more info about your co students than you ever wanted or needed.

    Anyway my advice to them was always this,
    a) if your grades have room to slip or you can cope not getting distinctions(for those over achievers)

    b) you are incredibly organised or can work in mayhem and

    c) you have an incredibly supportive husband

    Then it can be done, but ultimately you will know for yourself if it's doable.
    The one thing that didn't work well together was Full Greek and a 3 month old, oi my goodness what was I thinking.

    In having kids while I was studying it meant that starting as a minister wasn't then put on hold while I was having kids after I graduated, I was able to throw myself into it straight away.

    Well this is the longest comment I have ever made, and I shall stop now

    Blessings, praying for you as you continue this particluar journey

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"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins