11.30.2011

Wednesday Prayers: The Origin of Words

Because I can be a slow learner, I was in my early 30s when I finally realized that if someone is saying unkind things about others to me, they are almost definitely saying unkind things about me to others.  (Note:  I am 31 now.  Yes, the obvious is a recent revelation for me.)


I also realized that when I say harsh things about people, it's usually because I don't have the ovaries to express my needs and wants directly.  And that's my problem, not someone else's.  Hurtful words aren't the responsibility of the person they land on, they belong to their place of origin.  If I'm being a snot, it's because my heart is not aligned with God's.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the commandment to love my neighbor as myself.  Specifically, I've been thinking that THERE IS NO COMMANDMENT TO BE LOVABLE.   If I'm not loving you, that's my problem, not yours.  Actually, that's my sin, not your deficiency.

Now, you know I don't think that means I have to be everyone's friend.  It might not even mean I have to be in relationship with them.  But I have to respect that they are deeply valuable, that God is present in them, and that within them is infinitely more than I can know or imagine.

For the times when I find it hard to love, 
For the days when I get tired of listening, 
Lord, have mercy.
For my short temper and my self-centeredness, 
Christ, have mercy.
For my lost authenticity and courage, 
Lord, have mercy.

And God?  Please help others to love me, too.

3 comments:

  1. I can remember as a girl being told that behaviour was "unattractive." You know what? I'm not here to be "attractive."

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  2. wait till you are in your late 40's, I am still learning. Peace and Hope

    ReplyDelete
  3. I came to the realization you describe considerably later than 31. Count yourself fortunate!

    ReplyDelete

Unnamed sources make me crazy. Just one time, I'd like to see, instead of 'according to unnamed sources,' I'd like to see 'according to tweaky little, ill-informed, chicken-ass, wannabe.'
-Abigail Bartlett, The West Wing