Regular readers (and friends who patiently listen to me whine) won't be surprised to hear that today, I'm praying for safe travels. Dave's on his third out-of-town trip in as many weeks, with more yet to come.
I was very, very lucky growing up, because my mom was extremely conscientious about making sure I knew what would happen in the event that something happened to her. I knew who my guardian would be, or who would have power of attorney. I knew where I would live, what the insurance money would be, and that I would be the sole inheritor. I am tremendously grateful that she made those conversations normal; when a single parent deploys, that kind of frankness is genuinely reassuring. But because of that, I've always assumed that my loved ones would be far more likely to die young and suddenly than in illness and old age. I bet that sounds crazy to most of you, but in a military family, you're constantly aware that death and loss are real, plausible outcomes. It's literally only been within the last few months that it dawned on me that it's possible Dave and I might grow old together.
I get a little nervous when Dave goes on long trips. (I don't think other people would know that. Heck, when I finally told Dave recently, even he was surprised.) I am by nature anti-cling, so I love when one of us heads off for adventure (or to check on servers and USBs and rogue networks), but there's a sliver of me that's always braced for bad news.
So, I'm praying that Dave is safe, that I am peaceful, and also that God will be with me, whatever happens.
Meditation on This Week's Gospel
7 hours ago
I do that, the extra travel worrying, the "how could I get ahold of Devin if" or "who would get ahold of me if and how fast could I get to where he is," etc. Perhaps it's a combination of how long we were long-distance, the fact he was in a few car accidents while we were apart (never hurt, but still), the military, my anxious nature...glad to hear it's not just me.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I thought it was just me, too. Thanks for letting me know it's not!
ReplyDeleteOn our recent road trip, I put a note on the dashboard (well, in a little compartment in the dash), that reads, "My husband is CDR Joe Greeson, currently serving in Afghanistan..." with contact info, etc. When I wrote it and put it in the car, I was almost paralyzed with fear that something would happen to us. Knowing the note was there helped dissipate the fear.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, Charlotte. I think about carrying something like that in my wallet, and generally hope that having Dave listed as the only "favorite" in my phone will point people on the right direction.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I officially do think it's a military family thing.
hope the man is back in town and you get that full weekend together.
ReplyDelete