tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post7221333171181708503..comments2023-10-17T10:53:10.916-05:00Comments on The Kitchen Door: RediscerningDi McCulloughhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05903996304750469325noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-12812558492614896802007-05-24T17:40:00.000-05:002007-05-24T17:40:00.000-05:00Oh Mrs. M.--I don't visit for a while and come bac...Oh Mrs. M.--I don't visit for a while and come back to hear them jerking you around. I am so so sorry.<BR/><BR/>Your rector is horrendous and so is anyone in the denomination who harasses you for having a director outside their power structure. If they were as wise as you they'd be telling you to get someone like that.<BR/><BR/>I am so sad that you have gotten to the point of considering withdrawing but so impressed you are willing to do that if needed for your integrity and health and happiness. The mark of a true call in many ways...I have done that too and there is a price to be paid but in the end I got my heart's desire and every step helped get me here--not that that excuses the evil behavior.<BR/><BR/>Lots and lots of prayers on the way. And remember, the Holy Spirit, she's a coming soon....To console and empower you and kick their butts!Dr. Laura Marie Grimeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10372741914558791844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-4038500311385593532007-05-23T20:59:00.000-05:002007-05-23T20:59:00.000-05:00Mrs. M, this sounds so awful - so first, hugs and ...Mrs. M, this sounds so awful - so first, hugs and prayers to you.<BR/><BR/>As someone in this denomination... um, how shall I put this? This thing you were told, about "the system was difficult to teach you discipline and obedience" is a load of crap. Thats not what the process should be about, and I'm so sorry you're getting that kind of response. But, I would be so sad to see someone with your passion for ministry turn away from ordination because of this lack of helpful support. Honestly though, you can do it without a super supportive rector. Its possible, and happens more often than it should.<BR/><BR/>Whatever you discern, I'll be thinking about you and praying for you!Susie/Nueva Cantorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13111443190777358634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-33679491975442195402007-05-23T14:55:00.000-05:002007-05-23T14:55:00.000-05:00Many, many hugs from my direction. Ditto prayers ...Many, many hugs from my direction. Ditto prayers and thoughts. I'm sorry to hear how things have been for you -- and I have no advice or wisdom, but my door is always open, so send me an email whenever you need a good set of ears!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09085565625935264958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-80877848229372932252007-05-23T14:46:00.000-05:002007-05-23T14:46:00.000-05:00Hey, gannet girl,Thanks for the revisit.I do have ...Hey, gannet girl,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the revisit.<BR/><BR/>I do have a spiritual director outside of the denomination/process, and I'm getting quite a lot of grief for that (though I find it helpful). Rector in particular thinks it's wrong to seek a non-anglican director, so I've been told that I will more or less have a new one assigned to me, though I'll be "allowed" to see two if I want to keep my present director.<BR/><BR/>I think it's great to hear clergy perspectives, so my gripe isn't his stories, it's that I'm not feeling respect for mine. As it's been presented to me, my rector is the next step on the chain of command, and everything that goes elsewhere must travel through him. (I.e., I don't communicate directly with the bishop, the head of the commission on ministry, my internship supervisor-- well, I did with her, but the initial contact had to go through him.)<BR/><BR/>I have no idea what my recourse is. My rector is very political, makes a point of being in tight with the Powers That Be. That's what makes it feel especially sticky. He's candid about liking the politics, about being aware that you "have to" deal that way.<BR/><BR/>I'm going to start with a discussion on Saturday morning, and see where we go.Dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05501047587752329779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-9674388861388034202007-05-23T14:31:00.000-05:002007-05-23T14:31:00.000-05:00OK, I'm back, but I really only have two things to...OK, I'm back, but I really only have two things to say.<BR/><BR/>I know you have a spiritual director -- is it someone completely outside your denomination and its processes? Some people would probably strenuously disagree with that approach, but I think it's worth considering.<BR/><BR/>I know nothing about your denominational situation, but you say your rector is always correcting and adjusting your perspective. It seems to me that it would be entirely appropriate for your rector to offer his perspective, but any correcting and adjusting is within your domain. I agree that you need a candid conversation with him and maybe some boundary setting, maybe on both sides.<BR/><BR/>And if he genuinely does not support you, then what? Is there no recourse within your system?Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-60117929167935514552007-05-23T12:39:00.000-05:002007-05-23T12:39:00.000-05:00Oh, hun. No advice, I'm afraid, but you're in my p...Oh, hun. No advice, I'm afraid, but you're in my prayers.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00469586369675197872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-42785664468505173602007-05-23T11:07:00.000-05:002007-05-23T11:07:00.000-05:00(((Mrs. M)))I have several thoughts, but I'm unabl...(((Mrs. M)))<BR/><BR/>I have several thoughts, but I'm unable to say much of anything in a coherent way right now. You are in my prayers. Remembering your calling.Irishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07036519649244011605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-57330734704746114242007-05-23T11:01:00.000-05:002007-05-23T11:01:00.000-05:00Oh, Mrs M. I really "hear" you. It seems so clea...Oh, Mrs M. I really "hear" you. It seems so clear from who you are (at least what I can gather from the self that comes through your blog) that you absolutely will always minister beautifully whether or not you are a minister. And maybe what you need right now is support in your letting go. BUT I don't want you to give up if it's not meant to be. You've gone so far in a very difficult process. A human-made process and I don't like your rector's definition of the process to teach us "discipline and obedience." yuck. Just because you don't feel God in this process doesn't mean you aren't meant to become a priest. You just don't want to regret giving up, you know? But it does seem clear you need to have an honest conversation with your rector. Maybe he supports you more than you realize. And maybe not. I am keeping you in my prayers that it will be clear for you how to proceed. Bless your heart!Grace thinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16531868056833575601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-32297715976962969402007-05-23T10:24:00.000-05:002007-05-23T10:24:00.000-05:00Thanks for the encouragement, both of you.gannet g...Thanks for the encouragement, both of you.<BR/><BR/>gannet girl, if it was just about the money I'd be frustrated, but tenacious. (But you're right-- why is seminary money so much weirder than college money?!) I'm really feeling isolated and hung out to dry. When I told my priest I was feeling overwhelmed (a few months back), that I needed more support, the reply I got was that the system was difficult "to teach you discipline and obedience." The structure of our hierarchy/chain of command/whatever means that I can't go around him, but I don't believe I have his honest support, so I can't effectively go with/through him, either.<BR/><BR/>I think that for now, I can still minister without being a minister. Who knows about later?!Dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05501047587752329779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-16904623758787387522007-05-23T10:17:00.000-05:002007-05-23T10:17:00.000-05:00I have just skimmed this post really, really fast ...I have just skimmed this post really, really fast -- I wanted to see how it had gone so I stopped by, but I really need to be getting ready to go somewhere.<BR/><BR/>However, I do want to make a quick and dirty comment: having seen three children through the college process, I have felt toally jerked around by the seminary money process. The hallmarks have been well-intentioned people, undue optimism on the part of people who should know better, and a lack of clarity and transparency. In every one of the, oh, 100 or so colleges that we looked at over the years, I felt that I understood the processes, guidelines, optimism or lack thereof, and differences between financial aid and merit scholarships clearly. Not so with seminary.<BR/><BR/>However, don't give up too quickly! A couple of months ago, I had many of the same gut reactions that you do but I have gradually come around to another approach -- financially challenging but then, the whole undertaking is challenging in so many ways. <BR/><BR/>I will try to add more or email you later.Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13814531.post-12170856150066308862007-05-23T10:13:00.000-05:002007-05-23T10:13:00.000-05:00Oh, Mrs. M. Thoughts and prayers your way -- how f...Oh, Mrs. M. Thoughts and prayers your way -- how frustrating.Pink Shoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11296241924143424891noreply@blogger.com