Friend Crushes

This last year has been an awfully good one for me. I feel like every time I turn around, I'm finding a little piece of myself that I thought I'd misplaced forever. A little joy turns up in a sock drawer, and wedge of hope is stuck under the front porch. "Darn- so that's where it's been!"

This week, I opened a closet and a big old pile of Friend Crush fell on my head. I must have just thrown it in there and slammed the door.

I used to be really nuts about my friends. Loved them dearly, celebrated them, felt genuinely honored to share their company. But way leads onto way and after a rough few years trust in my fellow person was pretty well shot.

I noticed that it was back last week. I ran into someone I'd only met once or twice, and I gathered my ovaries and invited him to join us for dinner.

I was terrified.

And so, so excited. It is so like me to do this. And I haven't done it in ages. I haven't taken risks to get to know people I think are really neat. I haven't just relaxed and enjoyed people. I haven't felt safe enough to share, to joke, to be anything but reserved.


(And did I mention that I'm hanging out with the funny, beautiful, smart women that I work with on Saturday night? And that I'm thinking we could really be friends? I haven't been in the same town as great girlfriends since... well, let's not think in terms of time. I'm so excited.)


  1. What a wonderful post! I needed this so bad! Thank you for being so positive.

    I am so glad that this is all returning to you.

  2. Wow, I really resonate with this post. Feeling this a bit in my own life. Thanks for sharing.


"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
-Saint Molly Ivins